We all dread that one time of the month that brings pain, discomfort and raging hormones. It’s a time when we envy men and their ignorance, while also sneakily enjoying the excuse we have to literally eat everything around us. Here are some of the weirdest thoughts we all have when we have our period.
1. Why don’t men have periods? This is gender discrimination.
2. I need to be held. I need to be loved, but I don’t want anyone to touch me.
3. I want all the chocolate in the world. And I expect it immediately.
4. These stabbing pains are unbelievable; this is the worst period ever!!!
5. I hate men. Hate. Them.
6. I wish I had appreciated my pre-period days more. There are a faint rose-coloured memory.
7. I should get a few days off school every month so that I can stay at home when I’m dying like this. How has no one implemented stay at home period days?
8. All the hot water bottles in the world can’t ease this pain. But the heat is comforting.
9. I can’t wait for menopause, so I don’t have to deal with feeling shit every few weeks.
10. Why does my womb hate me so much? It’s hatred seems to be growing.
11. How many painkillers can I take?
12. I wonder how many other women are suffering right now too?
13. There is not enough comfort food in the world to get me through this. But I will try and eat my way through this.
14. I’ve eaten so much junk food in the last hour I can’t even keep track. I don’t know why that is, but I find a weird sort of pleasure in that.
15. If my body’s craving fat then fat it must need. Well I’m nothing if not obedient.
16. Am I dying?
17. Will I ever feel normal again?
18. I wish men had to go through at least one period so that they could understand just how horrible it is. That’d learn them.
19. Why are you annoying me? I need to be left alone.
20. Have you just come into the room without chocolate? Out, now!!!
21. I feel so emotional, I think I need to cry
22. Yep, here are the tears.
23. And they won’t stop. Crap.
24. I don’t even want children! Grrrr.
25. This is bullshit.