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Christians Up In Arms Over Fictional “Noah” Story Not Being True to the Original Biblical Fictional Story

Christian outrage that fictional Hollywood Noah does not match fictional Biblical Noah story

Christian outrage that fictional Hollywood Noah does not match fictional Biblical Noah story

Christians across the UK and United States are incensed that the fictional Hollywood blockbuster movie “Noah,” does not match their fictional version of the story and insist edits be made.

Christian Jeremy Christian said,

This is an outrage! We insist Hollywood edit this made up story to match our made up story that is god’s word. This wishy washy vegetarian “New Age,” Noah is nothing like the righteous man depicted in the bible. It’s an abomination!

Another Christian leader who preferred to remain nameless said,

This is so  unfair! You can’t just go around making up stuff about made up stories willy nilly. We have our favorite parts that have been left out and new silly stuff added. It should be illegal! Some of us actually know that this story was real, despite the impossibility aspect, and this is simply an attack on our faith by Hollywood Satanists. We might sue.

Studio executives said they did their best to edit their made up story to match the biblical made up story after the first complaints started rolling in. They admitted:

We found it rather hard to find any reference in biological texts to something called “kinds.” All we could find were “species.” We had our top experts on it for months. Eventually we glossed over the impossible parts in order to make a good movie. That is what this is all about after all. We don’t hate Christians or Muslims or anything like that.

Another studio insider admitted that the publicity was good and that maybe some normal people would come watch the film to see what the fuss was all about. Meanwhile the controversy rages and we will see if the movie gets pulled under pressure.

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