Miley Cyrus is in the news this week, gettin’ all nekkid and having her picture made for Paper magazine, and the accompanying interview is actually quite cool, unless you are Ken Ham from Answers In Genesis, that creationist fool who runs the big fake Bible science Creation Museum in Kentucky. Ham decided to write a bloggy post about Ms. Cyrus’s naked body, and how her revelation that she is “gender fluid” means she ought to just go ahead and fuck animals. Frankly, we’re a little worried Ham has been mainlining too much myrrh. Here is what Cyrus said:
Sexually, Cyrus said she is “down with” anything. She views her sexuality and even her gender identity as fluid. “I am literally open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn’t involve an animal and everyone is of age. Everything that’s legal, I’m down with. Yo, I’m down with any adult—anyone over the age of 18 who is down to love me,” she said. “I don’t relate to being boy or girl, and I don’t have to have my partner relate to boy or girl.”
But, Ham asked, “Why not involve an animal?” Yeah, why not? It’s probably going to evolve into a fully formed human by the time she’s done fucking it anyway, that’s what godless liberals believe, right?
But wait, OHHHHH, we see what he is doing. Ken Ham thinks he is very S-M-R-T, and this is one of his clever creationist “gotcha” questions, similar to most of the things he said when he lost that debate to Bill Nye The Science Guy. Ham believes the ONLY THING stopping people from diddling piglets and children is God (worked great for that Duggar boy), and Cyrus clearly hates Jesus, so yeah, Miley, why don’t you have a threesome with a billygoat and a wombat if you’re so cool:
Besides, if there’s no God and she’s just a result of evolution, then she is merely an animal anyway. And those she interacts with sexually are just animals—so why not any animals? In other words, she has decided to draw a line for some reason—but what reason? It’s actually because in her heart she knows God exists (Romans 1), she knows she is different from the animals as she is made in God’s image (Genesis 1)—and she has a conscience (as seared as it is because of her sinful rebellion) because the law is written on our hearts (Romans 2).
Question for her: Why only those over the age of 18? On what basis did she decide that? If there’s no God, why have any age restriction? On what basis would she argue against pedophilia? Why not do whatever anyone wants to do?
Of course, the answer is fucking simple and one word long: CONSENT. Because there are people out there who want to do gross things to woodland creatures and kiddies, but the reason all sane people believe those things should be against the law is because they cannot CONSENT. That is why, it is not because of Jesus, STFU, Ken Ham.
The only reason Ham got mad enough at Cyrus to notice her Paper spread is that he apparently has a Google alert set for “Noah’s Ark,” because he’s building a “replica” of that big boat what never existed, and Mean Hannah Montana made fun of it and people who think it was real: “Those people [shouldn’t] get to make our laws … That’s fucking insane. We’ve outgrown that fairy tale, like we’ve outgrown fucking Santa and the tooth fairy.” And that, Ken Ham, is what Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball feels like, when it hits you on your ass.
So there you have it. Miley Cyrus made fun of Noah’s Ark, therefore she hates Jesus so much, therefore she should Bone Zone all the zoo animals. It’s in the Bible.