Low calorie recipes to lose weight?

Do not eat this shit!

Do not eat this shit!

I am officially disgusted. My wife pointed this abomination of a recipe book out to me and suggested I write about it. Good grief! Lisa Lillien has concocted 200 recipes under 200 calories, and as far as I can tell, not one of them has any food in it.

According to the spin doctors providing publicity for this woman, “Over half a million loyal fans receive her daily emails containing guilt-free recipes, food and product reviews, dieting news, shockers and more.” Which  makes me inclined to think the over-weight American public is more desperate than I once imagined. 500,000 dumb Americans are prepared to follow this woman’s pre-packaged, chemically adjusted “recipes,” as an alternative to food? Or not. I have a feeling her email box is sadly empty and this is a desperate attempt to sell Splenda. Her personal website “Hungry Girl,” says:

Dear Hungry Girl,

The other day I drove by a Carl’s Jr. and saw a sign for their “Hand-Scooped Cap’n Crunch Ice Cream Shake”. I wanted to try one so badly, but I researched it and learned that each one has 740 calories and 35 grams of fat. Eeeeeks! Can you make a guilt-free version of this heavenly sounding frozen foe? Don’t let me down, HG!

Are you fucking serious? Do people believe this garbage? Because this is an example of a typical recipe: The Cap’n Crunch Craver

Low calorie recipes to lose weight?
Jesus Christ - tell me one one would eat this shit.
Recipe type: Revolting
Cuisine: DIsgusting
Serves: 0
  • 5 oz. Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze
  • ½ cup Breyers Double Churn Free fat-free ice cream, Creamy Vanilla
  • ¼ cup Cap'n Crunch cereal (original)
  • 1 oz. sugar-free vanilla syrup (like the one by Torani)
  • 1 tsp. Coffee-mate Fat Free or Sugar Free French Vanilla powdered creamer, dissolved in 1 tbsp. warm water
  • 3 no-calorie sweetener packets (like Splenda)
  • ¼ tsp. vanilla extract
  • 2 tbsp. Fat Free Reddi-wip
  1. Basically, you throw all this non-food in a blender, add a few ice cubes, and blend.

If you look at the ingredients in the ingredients, this is what you get:

Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze – Purified water, almonds, cocoa (dutch process), tapioca starch, calcium carbonate, sea salt, potassium citrate, natural flavor, carrageenan, soy lecithin, vitamin A palmitate, vitamin D2 and d-alpha-tocopherol (natural vitamin E). Not quite sure how you “purify: water, but I bet the marketing department knows.


Cap’n crunch cereal – Corn, Flour, Sugar, Oat Flour, Brown Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Salt, Niacinamide (One of the B Vitamins), Yellow 5, Reduced Iron, Zinc Oxide (a Source of Zinc), Yellow 6, Thiamin Mononitrate (One of the B Vitamins), BHT (a Preservative), Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (One of the B Vitamins), Riboflavin (One of the B Vitamins), Folic Acid (One of the B Vitamins).

Torani sugar-free vanilla syrup: Purified water, natural flavors, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (to preserve freshness), xanthan gum, sucralose (SPLENDA® Brand), citric acid, acesulfame potassium.

Coffee-mate Fat Free or Sugar Free French Vanilla powdered creamer : Vegetable Oil (Partially Hydrogenated Coconut or Palm Kernel and Canola, Hydrogenated Palm, Soybean, Cottonseed and/or Safflower), Corn Syrup Solids (Adds A Trivial Amount of Sugar), Sodium Caseinate (A Milk Derivative) (not A Source of Lactose), Natural and Artificial Flavors, Dipotassium Phosphate (Moderates Coffee Acidity), Mono- and Diglycerides

Some people will do anything for money. :(

Some people will do anything for money. 🙁

Splenda – unknown, but the subject of numerous lawsuits. The best I can come up with is: “Splenda/sucralose is simply chlorinated sugar; a chlorocarbon. Common chlorocarbons include carbon tetrachloride, trichlorethelene and methylene chloride, all deadly. Chlorine is nature’s Doberman attack dog, a highly excitable, ferocious atomic element employed as a biocide in bleach, disinfectants, insecticide, WWI poison gas and hydrochloric acid.

“Sucralose is a molecule of sugar chemically manipulated to surrender three hydroxyl groups (hydrogen + oxygen) and replace them with three chlorine atoms. Natural sugar is a hydrocarbon built around 12 carbon atoms. When turned into Splenda it becomes a chlorocarbon, in the family of Chlorodane, Lindane and DDT.

“It is logical to ask why table salt, which also contains chlorine, is safe while Splenda/sucralose is toxic? Because salt isn’t a chlorocarbon. When molecular chemistry binds sodium to chlorine to make salt carbon isn’t included. Sucralose and salt are as different as oil and water.(Prevents Oil Separation), Salt, Sodium Aluminosilicate, Sucralose, Acesulfame Potassium (Non-nutritive Sweetener), Yeast.

“Unlike sodium chloride, chlorocarbons are never nutritionally compatible with our metabolic processes and are wholly incompatible with normal human metabolic functioning. When chlorine is chemically reacted into carbon-structured organic compounds to make chlorocarbons, the carbon and chlorine atoms bind to each other by mutually sharing electrons in their outer shells. This arrangement adversely affects human metabolism because our mitochondrial and cellular enzyme systems are designed to completely utilize organic molecules containing carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and other compatible nutritional elements.

“By this process chlorocarbons such as sucralose deliver chlorine directly into our cells through normal metabolization. This makes them effective insecticides and preservatives. Preservatives must kill anything alive to prevent bacterial decomposition.

Fat free Redi-wip – Grade a whole milk,* sucrose, dextrose, corn syrup, grade A cream,* inulin (polyfructose), non-fat dry milk solids, modified food starch, cellulose gum, mono- and diglycerides, artificial color, artificial flavors, disodium phosphate, polysorbate 80, lecithin, carrageenan, guar gum, nitrous oxide (propellant). Adds trivial amount of fat.
I really think that list of “ingredients” speaks for itself, but, this woman was presumably paid a large amount of money to sell fat Americans on the idea that if they just eat 200 calories of chemicals instead of a meal, they will lose weight. Dear oh dear………

Guilt free? Not so sure about the author, and Splenda ought to be ashamed of themselves. There is only one way to lose weight, and eating 200 calories of chemicals is not it. Seriously, I am shocked this is even vaguely acceptable, but if you want her recipe book, be my guest………….